It might be a bit of a jolt to realize that as your parents age they need help getting tasks done. You may notice them struggle with daily chores, forget to pay bills, become less active due to fear of falling or breaking a bone. You may even see their memory and cognitive abilities start to falter.
At some point, you and your family will probably start looking into moving your parents into a safer living environment. Moving elderly or aging parents out of their home is a task that usually falls onto their adult children and it can be a challenging job to manage.
Moving Your Elderly Parents Into a New Home
As you navigate this new path in your parents’ lives you may find yourself seeking resources for where to move them, how to move them and, most importantly, how to speak to them about moving. In this guide, we will cover all these topics and make helpful suggestions to make the overall moving process easier.
Be Understanding
It is a good idea to go into any conversation with your parents with empathy and kindness. As humans, we attach ourselves to the places that we live in and instill a deep emotional connection with the memories created in those spaces. Your parents are likely moving out of the home where they raised their children and hosted many holiday and birthday parties. Many of their core memories are housed in those walls and they will be apprehensive to leave.
To help the transition, explain that their opinion matters and that they will have a say in where they live. Often, older adults feel that moving means losing control of their lives—make sure they understand that the opposite is true. Give them time to realize the benefits of moving so that they feel confident and less distressed about the upcoming relocation.
Convincing Your Parents to Move
It can be hard to get your parents on the same page as you about moving. A helpful tactic could be to bring your family together and talk through everyone’s concerns and expectations about the situation. This will help your parents see that you’re coming from a place of love and give them trust in their familial support system.
Select a New Living Arrangement
As you talk to your parents about moving make sure you speak openly and honestly about their needs. You may not need to put your parents in a nursing home depending on the level of help they need on a daily basis. Within this conversation, be sure to think about the availability of care, location and budget. If you’re unsure about the level of care and resources available, speak to a social worker or geriatric care manager for advice. Professionals can provide valuable suggestions and insight on care options and living arrangements.
How to Select Older Adult Housing
- Create a pros and cons list for each housing option in your area. Include the distance to relatives, friends and your parents’ activities/hobbies.
- Keep an open dialogue with your family. Make sure your family is on the same page about this transition and ensure that your parents have the final say during the decision-making process. Don’t force them into a situation that will negatively impact their mental or physical health – this move will affect them the most and they need to be thinking positively about it.
- Visit the facility. This will help your parents get a good feel for the environment, culture and available amenities. Pay careful attention to how the employees treat patients, what activities are available, visitation guidelines and transportation options. You should also research reviews and testimonials online.
Sort Through Belongings
Most aging adults have been in their homes for many years, meaning that they will have a lot of stuff to sort through while downsizing. Before you begin packing, help your parents go through and organize their belongings. We recommend organizing possessions into four categories: keep, donate, throw and preserve. As you organize, picture where each item will go in their new home and if there is space for it.
Be aware of their emotional state as you begin getting rid of their possessions. Allow them time and space to separate themselves from beloved pieces, reminisce with them and offer your own memories to help share in the moment and mourn with them. Do not try to get rid of something behind their back or make them part with something they’re not ready to let go of. If needed, look into temporary storage units in your area to keep larger pieces until your parents are ready to part with them.
Once you’ve finished organizing, consider hiring a junk removal service to help quickly take away unwanted items. Many Bekins locations offer this service in addition to professional packing services.
Clean Everything
Whether you’re renting, selling or keeping your parents’ home, it’s important to clean the house once your parents are moved out. Likely, they’d been living there for many years and dust or debris often built up in unnoticed or hard-to-clean places. As you clean, repair any damages that you find to keep them from getting worse and to get the place ready to welcome in new residents.
Hire a Moving Company
Scheduling a moving company will help ease the stress placed on you and your parents. Your parents may feel more comfortable talking to a subjective third party about the move than they would with you and your family. Moving companies that specialize in senior relocations (like many local Bekins agents) will offer comfort and professional insight to the family. Movers will also take on the burden of lifting heavy objects and will just make the whole process a lot more simple and smooth.
Give Your Parents Time to Settle In
This is one of the most important steps in this transition. Your parents may need weeks or months to adjust to their new living arrangements. Check-in with them often to make sure that they feel comfortable and safe. They will lean on you and your family as a support system during this time and it is extremely pertinent that you maintain that trust and love with them as they settle into their new lives.
Everyone reacts to moving in different ways. Some are relieved, some excited and some are scared or angry. All emotional reactions are valid. Give your parents plenty of familial support and visits during this stage.
Bekins: A Moving Company Specializing in Moving Older Adults
Many of our agents are Silver Certified, meaning they have participated in specialty training for moving older adults. When you’re ready to help relocate your aging parents, get in touch with the Bekins team!
